they like to stalk you

Evolution of My Writing

• Year 1: Writing for School is balls
• Year 2: Adolescence and Vampires was Not a Cliche at this time
• Year 3: I have an Imagination and a really nice Pen
• Year 4: Holy Fucking Computers Batman
• Year 5: Fanfiction and the Young Teen's Brain, a study of do you think anyone will notice I'm a female virgin writing gay buttsex porn?
• Year 6: Sex is a Competition if you're doing it right, which I am. Because I'm the God of my own Universe and fuck you very much too
• Year 7: No, you're right. I should stop. And I will. I'll write original fiction without buttsex and I'll do it cold turkey like hardcore.
• Year 8: I CAN STOP WHENEVER I WANT. BUTTSEX DOES NOT RULE MY CREATIVE UNIVERSE.
• Year 9: I can stop whenever I want but I don't want to stop. I've finally figured out how to write good gay buttsex and have awesome fandoms.
• Year 10: I'M WASTING MY LIFE WITH GAY BUTTSEX FANFICTION
• Year 11: I'm only going to write strange pairings and that will mean I won't write much at all. And I'll only write for little fandoms and that means I won't write much at all.
• Year 12: How did I just write over a million words of Dukes of Hazzard gay buttsex last year? HOW DID I EVEN DO THIS?
• Year 13: I'm going to write originals and HOLY FUCKING STAR TREK.
• Year 14: I have a girlfriend now and I'll write whatever she wants me to write
• Year 15: The year I wrote nothing at all. Not even a little. No I mean it.
• Year 16: Now I'll write an epic original fantasy novel that includes almost no sexy white people having all the hot buttsecks. THIS WILL BE SO SIMPLE COMPARED TO EVERYTHING ELSE I'VE WRITTEN. I mean, I don't even have to figure out what to use for lube.
• Year 17: Involuntary Confinement to a Mental Institution for Delusions of having any ability to write things not concerning Buttsex